ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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