I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
