She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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