Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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