Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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