FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
