currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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