We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
