You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
