You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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