I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
