everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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