Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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