Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
