I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
