I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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