grandma shit on top of the toilet
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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