508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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