and you said cock pushups were impossible
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
