Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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