awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
