Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
