I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
