absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
