im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
