I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
