still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
