At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
