last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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