i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
