she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
