i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
