my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
