great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
