we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize