you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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