Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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