she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
