I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
