She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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