I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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