you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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