I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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