Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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