I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
