Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize