you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
