she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
did i walk over a car last night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
