Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
