Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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