From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
