I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
