dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize