this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
