Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
