If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
